I’m not sure how many of you have stuck it out through the dry spells from Bloggin to the Fifth’s glory days. You know, back in the day when I might post like 15 to 20 things a day, ’cause my ridiculous job afforded me the free time and internet connection. In fact I think this whole blog was conceived and carefully crafted all on work time. Anyways, if you were around then, you may remember that I had a somewhat regular bit called, “Livin’ La Vida Lohan” wherein I would copy some reported Lindsey Lohan story, swap her name with my own and replace some of the details with silly things. If you don’t recall, don’t worry, you’re not missing much. The point is that bit kinda died off with it being not that funny, but also because Lindsey’s life, career, and even looks had become somewhat sad. Really who wants to poke fun at someone when they are down? OK, most people, but not me. I was ready to shut that door forever and now I’ve been convinced I should.

I’m afraid of being sued. Yeah, who isn’t? Specifically, I’m afraid of being sued by Lindsey. Sure sounds far fetched, but what if I told you that Lindsey Lohan was suing E-Trade, over a commercial that aired during this years Super Bowl (the highest rated anything ever shown on T.V.) that features briefly, a baby named Lindsey (just Lindsey) that is a refered to as a “milkaholic”?

See the commercial for yourself:

In the ad, that is a just the latest of a series of E-Trade commercials starring babies who play the stock market, a boy is apologizing to his girlfriend over video chat for not calling her the night before.

“And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” the baby girl asks him suspiciously.

“Lindsay?” the boy replies, just before a baby girl sticks her head into the frame and slurs, “Milk-a-what?”

Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, claims the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.

“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said.

“They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

Lohan’s laywer wants an injunction to force the spot off the air, and representatives for Lindsay want to take possession of every copy of the commercial.

According to Chris Brown of the Grey Group, who produced the ad, they “just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team.”

Lohan’s laywer states that E-Trade has violated Lohan’s rights under New York state civil-rights law and used her “name and characterization” in business without paying her or getting her approval. They feel that Lohan is owed $50 million in exemplary damages, plus another $50 million in compensatory damages.

When the New York Post broke this story, E-Trade could not be reached for comment.

The sticking point for me in this whole thing is not that she has issue with being portrayed as a promiscuous woman with a chemical dependency, but she actually embraces it as her “characterization“. Wow, you know things have gotten bad when you start saying, “Sure call me whatever you want, it’s all true, just show me the money!”

So, it seems that if people are being sued by Lindsey Lohan merely for using a character with the same first name, it’s just not safe out there any more for regular J’s like me.

Check out; Livin’ La Vida Lohan

BTW: What do you think, is Lindsey Lohan really big enough to qualify as a one name celebrity. I mean really what her lawyer is saying is that you the people would agree. Is she a Cher, Sting, or a Madonna?

Linked to: YouTube Some reporting by Kieran Crowley of the New York Post